To get an answer about the validity of climate change, it may depend on who you ask. And while the signs are all around us, there are those who remain skeptical as ever, and they happen to be those closest to Climate himself.
Ted Coutrier attended Vassar College in 1998. His four years were spent getting to know a young Climate rather well.
“He’s always been kind of unpredictable– volatile, even,” Coutrier explained. “I mean, everyone has their good days and bad days, but when Climate would swing, he really swung, you know?
“There was this one time we were at a party and Climate had a lot to drink. He got a little out of hand. Before we knew it, he had destroyed an entire trailer park, caused drought in a third-world country, and melted a polar ice cap.”
This kind of behavior comes as no surprise as this hard-partying “celebutaunt” has on numerous occasions given the paparazzi a veritable buffet of debauchery over the years, but what about change?
“I’ve seen it before,” Coutrier continues. “He swears he’ll change and he does good for a while, but three months down the road, he’s back into old habits.”
Coutrier admits that he and Climate have grown apart since college, but he “wishes the best” for his former roommate, and continues to “pray for him”.
But perhaps the person most effected by Climate’s often erratic behavior is his very own mother, Gaia. Most people remember Gaia as the spirit of the Earth, whose brief stint on the Captain Planet and the Planeteers TV program made her a household name. But fame has its price.
“Climate had to grow up under sort of this microscope,” Gaia told MS. “It was hard for him to cope. Sometimes, I feel like I failed as a mother.”
Well, yeah, you probably did, Gaia, and the rest of us are paying dearly for it.
So that leaves us with the burning question of Climate change: can he really tame his inner demons, overcome his many debilitating personality disorders and get his life together; or is he the notorious backslider he’s always been portrayed as, doomed to forever fall into the same cycle of destruction?
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