When a truck full of bees was overturned on Interstate 5 in washington state, it made national news, found its way to social media, and has now gone viral. On the other side of the country, the president invited select members of the press for an emergency conference. A field reporter for the Monthly Spew was there. It was sudden and remarkably low-key, and it was nothing anyone expected.
“Members of the press,” the President began, “let me begin by thanking you all for attending on such short notice. Tonight, I’d like to address the allegations made against me, that I am in some way responsible for the release of bees on Interstate 5 in Washington. These allegations are ludicrous and unfounded, and let me be the first to assure the American people that I am not of a shape-shifting race of bee-people from the Andromeda Galaxy, here to infiltrate and enslave this planet.”
When one member of the press pointed out no such allegations had yet been made, the President canceled the press conference as quickly and unexpectedly as it had been commenced.
This comes just weeks after the President attacked innocent children with millions of Africanized bees. You can see that story on our archive page.