You hear it all the time: your phone is being used to spy on you. We’ve all been pretty quick to dismiss it as Orwellian paranoia, but it may not be what you’ve been led to believe, according to Kirk Potts, the man who is forcing me to write this at gunpoint. According to Potts, whom I met just this morning when he burst into my house quite uninvited and unwelcome, our phones are spying on us, but it isn’t big brother on the other end.
“We’ve all been told it’s the government,” Potts insists, “but that’s a lie to keep us from the truth! It’s our phones! The phones are the ones doing the spying!”
Mr. Potts can be very convincing, but for those of you without the benefit of his 10 gauge pressed against your nose, let me see if I can explain. According to Potts, your phone stores personal information like social security and credit card numbers, birth dates and so forth, but it doesn’t end there.
“Then they start approximating your personality based on your interactions via text message and social media,” Potts explains. “Before long, they’ve taken over your life and you’re obsolete!”
Sound crazy? Sure does! And Kirk Potts thought it sounded crazy until it happened to him.
“My phone is in my house right now, raising my kids, sleeping with my wife,” he said before being led away by authorities. “Don’t let it happen to you!”