PATRICK AIR FORCE BASE, FL– A 60-year-old lawn care worker was rescued by firefighters and taken to the hospital to be treated for multiple stings. Officials are uncertain how the bees came to attack him, but the most likely explanation is that they are government bees, probably part of an Air Force bioengineering program to weaponize honeybees. It becomes just another in a slew of malicious bee attacks orchestrated by President Barack Obama. While it’s nearly impossible to tell how many bee attacks Obama has been personally responsible for, it is quite clear that this man accidentally stumbled upon a testing ground for these weaponized bees, or; they escaped from their underground bunker, only to attack the first human with which they came into contact as retribution for the harrowing experimentation they had to endure, including the systematic removal of all their internal organs only to have them replaced with integrated nano-circuits. Either way, it becomes obvious to even the most casual of observers that this has become a pattern of increasingly aggressive, bee-themed behavior by the President, and it is unclear when, if ever, it would stop. Were Hillary Clinton to be elected, she has not yet stated that she will put an end to the bee attacks. And that should have every American shaking in their boots and reaching for the nearest can of Raid.