Lincoln, NE– the whole of human history has been one of strife and struggle, violence and dissent, all of which perpetrated by– you guessed it– human beings. With our world population swelling to an unfathomable 7 billion, all of whom are in direct competition for land, food, resources, and reproduction, surely only the logical conclusion would be to stop making more humans. Tim Faraday disagrees.
“There’s something pure and simple about a baby,” the new father tells TMS. “Unspoiled by the world; full of possibilities. Maybe this kid is the one who makes this world a better place.”
I know. I threw up a little in my mouth, too. But to hear Faraday tell it, you’d almost guess he believes it himself.
“When I found out my wife was pregnant, I was a little scared,” Tim confesses. “But after little Timmy, jr. was born, I knew it would be okay.
“It isn’t as simple as sacrifice,” he continues. “It’s everyday making a choice to put someone else’s needs ahead of my own. In the end, isn’t that what life is all about?”
We weren’t sure what he was ranting about, so we took his statements to Dr. Sae-Wan Kim, a psychologist specializing in behavioral disorders.
“Mr. Faraday is clearly demonstrating symptoms of a delusional behavioral disorder,” Dr. Kim asserted after watching Faraday’s filmed interview. “He makes some grossly overstated things. His nativity and optimism are on par with a lobotomy patient.” His diagnosis? “He’s quite insane. He had some semblance of sanity prior to the child being born; he speaks of fear quite lucidly, so he clearly remembers that time of fear, but his faculties were quickly diminished as he now holds the belief that surrendering one’s own needs for the sake of another to be the highest purpose. It’s just completely backwards from anything we know about the world. Simply put, it’s delusional fantasy.”
We brought Dr. Kim’s findings back to Tim. He laughed like a mental patient.
“People might think I’m crazy, but I know I’m not,” he told us, in classic crazy-person fashion. “If loving my children is crazy, then lock me up!”
Be careful what you wish for, Tim.