Jurassic World Tanks in Pre-Opening Box Office

Image via Universal

Image via Universal

SYRACUSE, NY — The fourth movie in the previously lucrative Jurassic Park franchise releases in June, but the box office numbers so far have been awful.  In recent weeks Age of Ultron has raked in over a billion dollars at the box office and even the unfortunate Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 has outperformed Jurassic World.  As the summer movie season kicks into high gear, it seems that Jurassic World is off to an unfortunate start, having thus far brought in exactly $0.00 in ticket sales.
In an age of franchises, each studio is competing to build a set of movies that can perennially and regularly bring in the crowds and the cash.  For Marvel they have their extensive universe of… Marvel.  For Sony they have the failure to make a good Spider-Man movie after Spiderman 2. Warner Bros. stretched The Hobbit into three bloated and basically awful movies in order to ensure profit every Christmas season and the same was done with pretty much every breakout teen sci-fi franchise; of which only Hunger Games seems to be any good.  Where was I going… Oh, right, the failure of Jurassic World.

The competition for summer movie dollars is always fierce, but the total, abject failure of Jurassic World makes it stand out.  Many are quick to blame director Colin Trevorrow for the crime of not being Steven Spielberg; a crime which Trevorrow has yet to deny, making him clearly guilty.  Others blame the movie’s star, Chris Pratt claiming that he failed to return to his dadbod body and cash in on the dadbod craze.  Still other unnamed sources have placed the blame on the very concept, “So we’re supposed to believe that, despite dinosaurs breaking free and killing everybody three times before, someone still thinks the best way to monetize genetic manipulation, cloning, and giant door technology is to make a theme park out of it?”

Producer Frank Marshall is desperately trying to convince people to not write Jurassic World off just yet.  “We always expected to do poorly at the box office in the months before the movie was released.  We expect to do much better once the movie is in theaters and people can buy tickets to go see it.”  Frankly, such a business plan, where the studio blithely writes off months of pre-release ticket sales, seems destined to fail and most market insiders are ready to chock Jurassic World down as one of the biggest flops in movie history.

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