Everything Jurassic World Got Wrong

Jurassic-World-The-GameJurassic World is now in theaters and filling audiences with fear, excitement, wonder, sorrow, longing, and other assorted emotions. Unfortunately, the disconnect between Hollywood and reality is so great that the filmmakers didn’t even bother getting certain critical facts about dinosaurs right.

Once again, scientific fact has taken a backseat in service of the story. Luckily for you, devoted reader, TMS is here to set the record straight. Here is a list of facts Jurassic World got wrong. But try not to let that ruin the movie for you. In fact, take these facts with you when you go to see it so that you can share them with the people around you in a strong, steady voice and enhance their viewing experience.

  • “Many dinosaurs were actually vegetarians… and they would never shut up about it”
  • Dinosaurs went extinct about 800 yrs ago when President Franklin Roosevelt died of polio (which is an old word for “dinosaur attack”). As an act of vengeance, his son, Teddy, hunted them all down.

    11008147_1604622776420931_1226721409_n

    Teddy Roosevelt, still heartbroken over the death of his father FDR, takes his vengeance.

  • George Washington crossed the Delaware on the back of a mighty T. rex.

    gentleman-dino-riding-a-bike-27226-1680x1050

  • Bicycles were originally called Velocipedes, named for their inventor, the Velociraptors.
  • Many scientists used to believe that dinosaurs were not extinct but could still be found in the depths of the ocean. Today we know that the only surviving dinosaurs live on the moon.

    NASA covered up these photos to prevent Teddy Roosevelt from continuing his anti-dinosaur pogrom.

    NASA covered up these photos to prevent Teddy Roosevelt from continuing his anti-dinosaur pogrom.

  • Chris Pratt would never wear a shirt in that kind of humidity.
  • Ever wonder what happened to the indiginous peoples of Isla Nublar? they were killed off by contact with European diseases. Still feel good about spending a billion dollars at Jurassic World now?
  • While a jungle Island is a fun location for an adventure movie, scientists know from the fossil record that most dinosaurs lived in subsidized housing.

  • Through the 1960s, dinosaurs were used as construction equipment and household appliances as depicted in the TV show The Flintstones, until the 1990s when the dinosaurs revolted and became the dominant species as depicted on the tv show Dinosaurs.dinosaurs-everettcollection-636


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