WASHINGTON, DC — Protesters have taken to the streets over the past few days to give voice to a complaint shared by all right-thinking Americans. Also Canadians, but their protests took the form of a polite letter. the chief complaint of these protesters was the failure of the log-awaited reboot of smash-hit TV series ReBoot.
ReBoot was the biggest and most successful Saturday-morning cartoon show in the 1990s to have come out of a Canadian animation studio. It blazed the way for computer animated fare and actually produced a feature-length film out of its final episodes which pre-dated Toy Story as the first fully computer-animated film. It was also, according to most experts, a better TV show than Breaking Bad or Duck Tales.
As protesters swarmed the capital grounds, fearful Senators and cowardly Representatives fled back to their sealed-from-the-public offices. House Speaker Boehner, looking on from his safe position was spotted in tears. “We want to help them,” he said. “We would love to see ReBoot back on the air, but we can’t break the gridlock!” We tried to get a quote from Mitch McConnell but the turtle-man talked much to slowly to keep our attention and we wandered off.
The protesters, by contrast, were much more interesting. Many of them had dressed as their heroes from the show and had created signs with many clever puns and slogans which we see no point in putting here. “We demand that Congress takes action to ensure that ReBoot returns,” demanded one protester dressed as series protagonist Megabyte. “According to the Wikipedia page there’s been a new series greenlit for production, but we’ve been burned way to often by false hope. This Congress, and the Supreme Court, and the President, and Parliament, and the Queen need to all step in to ensure that what Wikipedia says about ReBoot actually comes true.