As I’m sure you’re all aware, there has been a bit of awkwardness preventing me from patronizing the coffee shop I regularly frequent. Now, this awkwardness has not arisen from anything on my part, but as a practicing master of the Zen arts, I do try to avoid such negative energy. Admittedly, the change in routine has taken its toll on my completion of Dreams of R’Lyeh, but as I said, I did nothing to cause the situation, so I’m trying to take it in stride. thus, I have done what is necessary– I bought a coffee grinder. I will say this; everyone should own their own coffee grinder. There is nothing more liberating than being given the opportunity to grind and brew your coffee how it pleases you without the irritating minutiae of having to deal with mortal– foolish mortals, who sometimes make poor decisions regarding the Elder Gods in their lives.
Anyway, using this coffee grinder has really opened my eyes to how much my dependence on franchise coffee has been holding me back. OnceI tasted the sweet nutty tones of my own signature blend– I call it “Infinite Blackness”– I knew I could never go back. I’d love to go into detail about my process but frankly, this is my signature blend and I’d prefer not to have a bunch of unoriginal hipster copycats pilfering my creation.
So my quest to save the Old Asbestos Factory at the Edge of Town. It seems four teenagers and their dog vanished a couple nights ago, possibly investigating the old factory. The only evidence anyone has found is their van parked out by the front gate. In the meantime, City Council has filed an injunction against its demolition (partial win), but Councilman Philip Heard is using this most recent incident as cause to reopen the investigation as to the structure’s safety (mostly loss). I honestly don’t know what he hopes to accomplish; they’ve already lost 6 building inspectors, 3 paranormal investigation teams, and half an exorcist in there. At this point, he is insulting taxpayers by conducting another investigation. I hope the teenagers and their dog turn up for no other reason than to keep more of this crap from happening to me.
It occurs to me that amid the clamour online for me to run as president, perhaps there is indeed a kernel of truth. Given my present involvement in local government and my long-standing tenure as overlord of R’lyeh, I think it is in the best interests of all that I consider running for city council! Now, before you get too excited, bear in mind I have a few I’s to dot and T’s to cross, but with fall elections coming, I think I could accomplish a lot for this city.