Who Discovered Maine 3 Centuries Before The Vikings?

After the end of the Third Age of the Sun, the peaceful Hobbits of Middle-Earth all but vanished from the world of men, leaving very little evidence of themselves save but a few tales of great deeds by a handful of these otherwise meek creatures. But recent evidence found by archeologists suggests they may have in fact, discovered the new world, as early as 300 years before the first Vikings.

This is called a “Maine-hole”.

Among the plethora of evidence are remarkable dwellings lovingly referred to as Maine-holes, small houses dug into the sides of hills found throughout Maine. Too small for average adult humans to inhabit, early theories theorized the houses were built as a joke.

“We thought maybe early native Americans liked to pull pranks on one another,” explains Prof. Einhardt Liebsnicht, a German professor of archeology in Berlin. “The thinking at the time was that one Native American would fall asleep and his friends would build a small-scale house around him so when he woke up, he was convinced he had become a giant.”

Even though the dwellings are hobbit-sized and it was well-documented that hobbits lived in these types of dwellings in Europe, no evidence existed to suggest hobbits were responsible for the Maine-holes.

Left: Hobbit skull. Right: Human skull.

Until scientists started finding several tiny skulls nearby.

“Early farmers would find these skulls and other bones as they cultivated their fields,” Einhardt continues. “Fearing curses, they ran away. We have only now begun to study these skulls and have determined them to be of a similar, smaller race, most likely hobbits.”

So there is evidence that hobbits lived here, and evidence hobbits died here; is there any evidence to explain how the hobbits got here?

“Hobbits are creatures of comfort…. most likely they flew coach.”

“We know hobbits were not sea-faring folk like the Vikings who came after,” Liebsnicht explains. “But there are a few possible explanations, each with very little hard evidence to support them. First; some scientists speculate they were able to convince the great Eagles who were known to have helped the hobbits throughout the third age.

“Second; a less popular theory postulates that a group of Frodo-obsessed fan-hobbits attempted to find him by sailing to the Undying Lands. Now these hobbits may have been a bit more adventurous, being admirers of the Bagginses, but this voyage would have been wrought after the Undying Lands had left the Spheres of the World. Had they survived such an arduous journey, they would have ended up in the New World.

“Lastly; the most likely explanation is they flew coach. Hobbits are creatures of comfort. Leisurely air travel and affordable rates were most likely the order of the day.”

However they got here, they have left an indelible mark on our nation’s rich and complex history.


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