Why July 4th SUCKS

Ba-BOOM!  4th of July is everything great about America: Massive availability of explosives.

Ba-BOOM! 4th of July is everything great about America: Massive availability of explosives.

Ok, the 4th of July doesn’t REALLY suck.  It’s pretty cool, actually.  There’s fireworks, barbecue, fireworks, watermelon, fireworks, the celebration of freedom… it’s everything great about America all rolled up into one awesome party.  If it wasn’t for July 4th and the other events of our Independence, we might be sipping tea somewhere or (depending on where you live) part of some Spanish or French colony.  But it’s not ALL sunshine and roses.  Here’s some of the reasons Independence Day SUCKS.

snoopy-charlie-brown-end-of-summerWhen I was a kid, summer was it.  The best time of the year.  And the 4th of July was awesome.  As soon as the fireworks stands opened, we were there, buying firecrackers.  But once the 4th was over, the fireworks were all gone, and the smoke cleared, a dark realization set in.  SUMMER IS HALFWAY OVER.  Soon, the county fairs are here and next thing you know, you’re back in a desk at school somewhere.  BUMMER.  The 4th of July is the peak of the summer, it’s all downhill from there, and you’re wondering, where did the time go?  July 4th is just a reminder that the summer is almost over.

Also, like all other major holidays that we love, it comes and goes too fast.  If you’re lucky, your town might have a few separate celebrations so that you can take in more festivities.  If you don’t have that luxury, spend the days leading up to the 4th celebrating in your own way.

fireworksSome places don’t allow fireworks.  I’m not sure what all the reasons might be; fire hazard, uptight… weirdos?  I don’t know what would possess people to ban fireworks, but in some places this is a reality.  How are we supposed to celebrate whoopin’ the limeys with no boom boom crackers?

But these are all basically empty gripes.  I don’t get a summer vacation anymore, I work year round regardless of the season.  I live in a town that has a city fireworks display on the 3rd and a country club display on the 4th.  And luckily I live in a very red state where the freedom of firecrackers rings.  So I’ve got it pretty good.

The 4th of July, like America, isn’t perfect, but it’s what we’ve got and we’re constantly working on it!  Enjoy your 4th and enjoy America!


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