Overlooked Life Hacks

You’ve all seen the lists of life hacks.  Usually 37 to 248 hacks long, half of them total BS like toilet paper roll speakers and or crap that you already know.  But some things still get left out.  Let’s take a look.

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Jagger’s and Bowie’s Stern Warning: Look Both Ways Before Dancing in the Street (Video)

Following a string of unfortunate deaths, legendary entertainers Mick Jagger and David Bowie have come together to issue this solemn reminder: always look both ways before dancing in the street.
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Cthulhu’s Corner: The Betrayal of the Deep One

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I can’t believe it. I just can’t believe it. Some people are just so oblivious to how horrible they are and how their selfish actions affect other people. Continue reading

Memory Foam Pillows Hacked; Private Dreams Posted Online

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Women model pillows because apparently men never sleep.

Has your memory foam Pillow ever reminded you where you left your keys? Or about your wife’s birthday? Has it ever reminisced about the ‘good old days’?  Has it even ever remembered the shape of your lumpy head?  If you answered no to all of these completely founded and reasonable questions, it’s probably because those are not the designed functions of your memory foam Pillow. 

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Americans Increasingly Surrender Free Will to Online Media Conglomerates: Why Not TMS?

OR you can surrender it to us and we promise not to make you jump to your death*.

OR you can surrender it to us and we promise not to make you jump to your death*.

‘MERICA, AM — As the world becomes increasingly more and more complex, many Americans have decided to simply give up on trying to understand what is going on and what their role in the world even is.  Instead they are, more and more, giving up their free will and allowing their decisions to be made by online media outlets and echo-chamber “news” sites.  Well, why not let The Monthly Spew make your decisions for you? Continue reading

Peter Jackson Investigated For Forcing Viewers’ Perspectives

Nearly 15 years after the release of The Fellowship of the Ring, director Peter Jackson is being investigated for allegedly questionable practices in making the epic fantasy adventure movie film cinemation project.

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Internet Becomes Self-Aware; Buys Shoes

An astonishing occurrence occurred last weekend as the collective knowledge of all mankind that is the internet became self-aware and acknowledged its sentience by opening a Twitter account.

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Such a thing has been predicted by conspiracy nuts and far less credible science fiction writers for decades now, but it seems to have taken an unexpected turn.

“It’s kind of disappointing, to be perfectly honest with you,” admitted Daniel Shakar, a tech analyst and software engineer who was among the first to follow the sentient Internet’s Twitter feed.  “After so many Terminator and Matrix movies, you just come to expect this technology to try to annihilate the human race.  Instead it just orders shoes from itself.  It’s a huge letdown.”

While no one can say for sure what an incorporeal collection of digital information that is more of an abstract concept than a physical thing has need of $374 Gucci pumps, it’s equally unclear whether the Internet’s merciful sparing of mankind is permanent… or temporary.
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“It has a lot of binge-watching to do,” stated Shakar, citing the Internet’s Twitter feed.  “If it has plans to enslave or destroy us, they may have to wait until the new season of Game of Thrones is over.”

Comics Vs Film: The Mask

The side by side comparison you were wanting, 2 decades too late!

JR's Wild West

A lot of movies, blockbuster or otherwise, start off as comic books.  More than you would initially think, but it makes total sense, comics is just another medium for great story-telling, of course those great stories will make it to cinema.  And a movie’s journey from comic to movie is very backwards from my own journey into the world of comics.  I started off as a cinephile and moved into the world of comics through films I loved like Watchmen, Kick-Ass and a little TV show called The Walking Dead.  After seeing these films I enjoyed immensely, I wanted to know more, so I picked up the books.  I then got into the original TMNT comics (I had loved the cartoon & toys as a kid) and Batman comics, through the Arkham games actually, although I had seen and enjoyed all the Batman films. (sans Batman & Robin)

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Donald Trump on Batman: “I Prefer Billionaire Vigilantes Who Aren’t Orphans”

Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump gestures and declares "You're fired!" at a rally in Manchester, New Hampshire, June 17, 2015.  REUTERS/Dominick Reuter      TPX IMAGES OF THE DAY      - RTX1GZCO

“F#ck Batman and the horse he rode in on!”

ANNISTON, AL — Donald Trump has ignited controversy once again by attacking one of the heroes of the mainstream GOP.  Just as he earlier went after War Hero John McCain by discrediting his heroism as a POW during the Vietnam war, Trump has singled out another hero for criticism.  This time he has set his sights on fellow billionaire Bruce Wayne, AKA The Goddamn Batman. Continue reading

TMS Reads The Stars: Horoscopes

Horoscope wheel chart

Basically voodoo

None of us at TMS are certified horologists, which means we are equally as qualified to give you life advice based on astrological hokum as anyone else!  Find out what the stars have in mind for you today!  Did you know that Wolf 359 really hates people born in January?  Crazy, right? Continue reading