Peter Jackson Investigated For Forcing Viewers’ Perspectives

Nearly 15 years after the release of The Fellowship of the Ring, director Peter Jackson is being investigated for allegedly questionable practices in making the epic fantasy adventure movie film cinemation project.

image

“It has been brought to our attention that Mr. Jackson had on several occasions used force perspective to create an illusion that the actors were shorter or taller than they truly were at the time of photography,” said the FCC in a statement.  “He did not receive any expressed permissions from anyone to have their perspectives forced to do anything without their consent.”

Forced perspective is a technique which employs optical illusion to make an object appear farther away, closer, larger or smaller than it actually is. It is used primarily in photography, filmmaking and architecture. According to the allegations against Mr. Jackson, actors would sometimes stand on their knees next to a full sized actor to appear smaller, among other deceitful lies.

image

The allegations include the making of the original The Lord of the Rings trilogy and its prequels; The Hobbit: The Phantom Menace, The Hobbit 2: Electric Boogaloo, and The Hobbit 3: Tokyo Drift.  Jackson would often pay his cinematographer to angle his camera and/or block actors to make them appear larger or smaller, including actors playing Hobbits, Dwarves, Elves, Gnomes, Giants, Wood Sprites, Hominids, Unicorns, Leopard Seals, Leprechauns, Accountants, Wizards, men of above average height and other fantasy creatures that inhabit the mythical world of Middle-Land, where the movies take place.  Apparently, the actors were unaware of the directors intention and were under the impression these illusions were being created digitally with computers.

“It’s terrible, just terrible,” said actor and recovering Hobbit Sean Astin, clearly still suffering the trauma of a recent kidnapping.  “Of course, we all trusted Pete.  I will stand by him until this investigation can clear him.  Unless it doesn’t.  In which case, he’s out of the will.”

image

Should the investigation yield any charges, it could result in a record class action lawsuit against the director for the millions of people worldwide who watch his movies on a daily basis.  Reparations could result in Jackson and Warner Brahs, the studio that owns the movies, having to pay back the millions they’ve earned from the trilogies and perhaps even their money rakes being confiscated.

Peter Jackson’s lawyer would not deny that his client used techniques to create the alleged illusions, but emphasized that his client did so consensually.
“My client cannot deny that he used such techniques to make his films, as it has been well documented in DVD special features released with the movies,” said Jackson’s lawyer in an official statement. “However, what occurred cannot be considered ‘forced’ perspective as it occurred between consenting adults.”

Is this another case of the Hollywood elite using their power and influence to commit criminal acts without legal repercussions? Or is it another case of alarmist fantasies and false allegations? Or is it another case of alien replicons infiltrating our society, posing as our most trusted public figures only to destroy our trust in them, at which point the aliens swoop in, use our fragile emotional state to their advantage and take over as our seemingly benevolent overlords, only to use us as slave labor to construct their Doom Ray which they intend to use to conquer the galaxy? Sound off in the comments below.

image

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s