Honolulu, HI– Geologists and vulcanologists at the National International Symposium on Geology and Vulcanologists reached a consensus this past week that despite what you have believed since you were 7, your floor is most likely NOT made of lava.
“It’s highly illogical,” explains chief science officer and vulcanologists, Dr. Leonard Spock. “The temperature of the lava would cause your furniture to erupt in flames, or at the very least, drive up your cooling bill.”
Still, scientists are slow to dissuade people from walking on their furniture. “It’s a precaution,” says Spock. “If there were to suddenly be a lava flow in your house and you, not being a geologist or a vulcanologist, would not notice, its best to just stand on the couch and try to jump to the coffee table. It’s just good common sense.”