Finally! Something is going my way! I hate using words like “luck” or “fortune” given the uncaring, indifferent nature of the universe, but as the vote to decide the future of the Old Abandoned Asbestos Factory at the Edge of Town draws nigh, the last of the walls preventing my proposal from imminent approval have finally collapsed!
It all began, as most things do, last Friday night. I had taken the time to attempt to reason with Aslan, dissuading him from the folly of A) submitting a frivolous and unfeasible proposal of his own, and B) suffering the embarrassment of his proposal losing to mine. Ever stubborn, The Lion refused to back down, instead thanking me for my “input” and “continued vested interest in our community”. I could tell he was being condescending, so I chose to ignore his slights and approach the problem from another angle.
As of the last City Council meeting, the current vote remains 3-3, with 1 Abstaining, the Abstain belinging to Councilwoman Maria ramirez. Since her vote could swing the decision in either direction, I made an appointment to speak with her on the matter before Aslan could do the same. After many messages to her office went unreturned, i followed her home Tuesday evening to catch up with her. After threatening to call the police several times, I was finally able to calm her down to a point where she was completely calm– pleasant, even– and willing to hear what I had to say. I can honestly say I felt good leaving her house that night.
In an unrelated story, the Councilwoman Ramirez has been forced to resign due to a sudden and unexpected mental breakdown she suffered shortly after our meeting, leaving her seat vacant. Since I was the last person to speak to her before her breakdown, I feel it is my duty to run for council so her final sentient dreams of passing my proposal can be made reality.
Update: It seems the Councilwoman will be living out the rest of her life as a vegetable. She’s OK, she just thinks she’s a rutabaga.