If you’ve come here expecting to hear an update on my battle with the City Council over the fate of the Abandoned Asbestos Factory at the Edge of Town, I’m afraid I will leave you disappointed. The entire matter is currently wrapped up in a serious legal hullabaloo and there is a gag order on all the disputants that is currently being enforced by the local PD and the Great Race of Yith. It’s a whole thing.
Anyway, what I am actually here to discuss today is a matter of national politics and security rather than one of mere local interest. That issue is the flood of refugees fleeing the violence in Syria and the fear-mongering currently being employed by the insane members of that eldritch horror-guild the GOP. Continue reading
"I told you kids to STAY OFF MY LAWN!"
Following a lackluster showing against a 3-and-5 Kansas City Chiefs and returning injuries, it seems everyone thinks Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning is ready to retire. At the ripe old age of 39 (147 in quarterback years), some feel he is too old and wrinkly to play professional sports other than shuffleboard and are being very vocal about it. But, like Manning himself, the old jokes have outlived their usefulness.
“When I saw Obi-Wan come out of Padme’s ship I was like ‘WHAT’!?”
With much of his biography under intense scrutiny and his batshit Pyramids theory being ridiculed, Dr. Ben Carson has struggled with the media recently. The main issues seems to lie in the strong difference of opinion between them about whether reality should matter more than fiction. Recently Dr. Carson revealed a previously-unkown (or not-yet-made-up) part of his biography: That he had tried to kill his mentor and Jedi Master while struggling with his anger issues. Continue reading
Waves hands, idiotic questions magically disappear.
Despite his insistence that he cares about the real issues, Sen. Bernie Sanders refuses state his position on whether or not he’d kill baby Hitler.
Trumptonia, USA — Before an audience of almost dozens of supporters, current Republican presidential candidate frontrunner, master orator, and award-winning jam maker Donald Trump made an address in honor of yesterday’s holiday.
"I prefer veterinarians who don't get captured."
“I join the rest of the country in honoring and thanking our vets for all they’ve done and all they continue to do,” he said. “They vaccinate our kittens; they deworm our schnauzers; they put our beloved race horses to sleep. So, with my handsome and nimble fingers, I salute all veterinarians who have served this country.”
He went on:
“This administration hasn’t done enough to help our veterinarians. That is why, when I am elected president, I will do more for veterinarians than any other president in the history of Presidents and veterinarians has ever done for any veterinarians with a plan, the details of which i have not made up yet, but I guarantee it’ll be great, because I made it, and I only make great things.”
He then unveiled a tiny model of a solid gold high rise kitty condominium and served refreshments out of kitty bowls.
By now you’ve all seen the trailer for the upcoming Warcraft movie trailer directed by sci-fi veteran Duncan Jones (Moon, Source Code).
First impressions of the trailer have been strongly positive and Jones is a well-regarded director according to the fawning* admiration of fake internet judge John Hodgman. However, there is a controversy brewing about the production of the film and its treatment of its assistant directors and editors, a controversy that is spilling over into several other video game movie adaptations currently in the works. Continue reading
I don’t know how aware you are about how many people see the weird stuff you search on Google, (or, if you are some sort of sociopath, Bing) but it’s out there. We see some of the search terms that bring people here. A lot of these searches are literally questions. I would like to now take the time to answer these burning questions.
It’s time to come out of your vaults folks! The biggest game of the year is finally launching. Our five year wait is over! In celebration of such, I dusted off the most recent title in the Fallout series.