Your Search Term Questions Answered

I don’t know how aware you are about how many people see the weird stuff you search on Google,  (or, if you are some sort of sociopath, Bing) but it’s out there.  We see some of the search terms that bring people here.  A lot of these searches are literally questions.  I would like to now take the time to answer these burning questions.

Q)  ‘who did lawrencey hilips kill’ 

A)  I’m not sure who ‘lawrencey hilips’ is.

Q)  ‘are funko pop figures a good investment’

A)  Fuck no.  They are a terrible investment.  They are the new beanie babies.  They will be garbage within the decade.  They are not something you buy as an investment, they are something you buy because of your fandom for whatever particular intellectual property was licensed.

Q)  ‘who died this weekend?’

A)  Everyone

Q)  ‘is candy crush made by isis?’

A)  Obviously

Q)  ‘what is obamas end game?’

A)  Bees.  We’ve been over this.

Q)  ‘do middle aged men like full size women?’

A)  Middle aged men like any size woman.

Q)  ‘is it lame to collect funko pop?’

A)  Depends who you ask.  Since you are asking me, (or, since I am answering anyway…) and I have some myself… Yes.  It is very ‘lame’.  But no more than participating in fantasy sports.

Q)  ‘what did thor put on jarvis head?’

A)  Idk.  Probably a hat.  Or a cooler of Gatorade?  Maybe they won a bowl game or something together.

Q)  ‘what did thor put on jarvis?’

A)  You guys seem pretty concerned about this.  Once again, not sure.  My guess would be peanut butter.  Or some kind of edible under-garment.

A classic lovers’ spat

Q)  ‘did aron hernandez murder his cell mate?’

A)  Yes.

Q)  ‘is marvel a copy cat of dc comics’?

A)  Absolutely and unequivocally.

Q)  ‘did they stop making the hulkbuster pop?’

A)  I certainly hope so.  Nerd.

Q)  ‘do hoas have rules on halloween decorations?’

A)  I haven’t the faintest clue but I don’t think it’s politically correct to call them that anymore.

Q)  ‘whack job or america’s savior? who is donald trump? and what does he really stand for?’

A)  That’s a lot of questions for one search.  I’ll answer in the order they were asked:  whack job; a clueless, entitled rich prick; and he stands for whatever makes him money and gets his frumpy ass laid.

Q)  ‘should immigrants assimilate into the american culture?’

A)  Yes and no.  Should they be able to function in American society?  Yes.  Should they ditch every last part of their heritage?  Absolutely not.  It takes all kinds.

Q)  ‘are funko pop a good investment?’

A)  Still no.

Q)  ‘is dadbod bullshit’?

A)  Yes.

Q)  ‘what is happening in midland tx walmarts?”

A)  Human rights violations.

Q)  who would be trumps running mate?

A)  A good running mate for anyone would be someone who possessed qualities their partner did not.  So Trump’s running mate should possess intelligence, character, and honesty, be well spoken and not full of shit.  Basically anyone but Trump himself.

Q)  ‘is the fifa world cup every year?’

A)  Is it common knowledge here in America that we have no fucking clue.

Q)  ‘why is military at an abandon wal-mart?’

A)  To purge the area of leprechauns.

Q)  ‘giada de laurentiis boobs’?

A)  Quite so.

Q)  ‘is the monthly spew reliable’?

A)  Hell nah.

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