Despite his insistence that he cares about the real issues, Sen. Bernie Sanders refuses state his position on whether or not he’d kill baby Hitler.
“Every time I asked the question, he’d skirt the issue,” said Herman Brody, ‘legitimate reporter’ and ‘political blogger’. “He’d wave his hands around and start talking about the deficit or education or the economy. I’d say there’s definitely something there he’s trying to avoid.”
Whether Sanders is in favor of killing babies or against killing Hitler is still unclear, but it may be that he is, in fact, both in favor of killing babies AND against killing Hitler, making him unequivocally the worst person in history.
“These are the real issues that effect real Americans and Senator Sanders is insulting every voter by ignoring this,” says Brody on his blog which he writes between sets of squat thrusts. “He also refused to comment on the Red Starbucks Cup, whether the Dress was Blue or Gold, or What He Thinks Of The New Star Wars Trailer.”
Sanders’ camp could not be reached for comment, because we did not reach out to them for comment, but we assume it is because they are afraid of our journalistic prowess and don’t want to embarrass themselves by taking on a media powerhouse that could destroy them like The Monthly Spew.