Peyton Manning Old Jokes Are Getting Peyton Manning

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"I told you kids to STAY OFF MY LAWN!"

Following a lackluster showing against a 3-and-5 Kansas City Chiefs and returning injuries, it seems everyone thinks Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning is ready to retire.  At the ripe old age of 39 (147 in quarterback years), some feel he is too old and wrinkly to play professional sports other than shuffleboard and are being very vocal about it.  But, like Manning himself, the old jokes have outlived their usefulness.

“They’ve had a good run, but I think it’s time to retire the old jokes,” said The Onion contributor and suspected terrorist Stanley Gregg.  “We can all look back and remember how great they were at first, but they’ve had a poor showing of late and maybe it’s just time some new jokes came in to move the program forward.”

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The Peyton Manning Old Jokes will be taken to a farm in Montana where they can live out the rest of their natural lives in open, rolling green pastures, harsh winter conditions, and wild bear attacks.

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