Ah, jingle bells. The age old, made in America Christmas tune (originally meant for Thanksgiving) that we all know. Well, the chorus and first verse anyway. And some of us are foolish enough to think Batman smells. Day 5 of the Christmas Song Challenge calls our street cred into question by asking us to name our favorite version of this holiday favorite. Word.
Day 5: Your Favorite Version of Jingle Bells
Josh: Austrian Death Machine – Jingle Bells
Austrian Death Machine, hands down. Created and performed entirely (except for the Arny impressions) by As I Lay Dying vocalist Tim Lambesis, ADM is metal tribute/ parody of Arnold Schwarzenegger which makes tunes out of quotes from his movies. Jingle Bells is the exception, as Arny ‘takes’ it and makes his own, with break neck paced drums, sweet riffing leads and a brutal breakdown that proclaims ‘It’s Christmas, let’s party!’ Arny also changes the lyrics and adds in a message for St. Nick himself. ‘Over the fields we go/ Breaking Vertebrae. Alright Fatso Claus it’s time to get in shape. You better start working out or else no more cookies for you.’ It’s definitely a welcome change to this familiar old tune. NYEEAAH!
Joey’s Pick: B.O.B. – Jingle Bells
Ska was the thing in the early 2000s, and like most musical trends, the Christian market jumped on the bandwagon to offer “christian alternatives” to secular bands. Enter Bunch of Believers (B.O.B.), a second rate ska act at best, who released a decent Christmas album with a respectable mix of original and classic tunes. Mostly cheesy, the album does have some good songs including a manic version of Jingle Bells that quickly spirals out of control. Since Josh already picked the best version of Jingle Bells in existence, I offer this secondary choice if you’re into punk-influenced third wave ska.
Dustin’s Pick: Wizard’s in Winter by Trans Siberian Orchestra… What? I have to pick a version of Jingle Bells? What is this? Nazi Germany. War on Christmas! I’m voting for Carson!
Dustin’s Pick after editorial brawl: Jingle Bells by Trans Siberian Orchestra
Don’t forget to recap the previous days of the Christmas Song Challenge!