Nom-In-Ate! Daleks Give Up Plans For Earth Conquest Forever!


If you know what these are, your headline reading and comprehension skills are indeed great.

In the many years since the Great Time War, the Daleks have on multiple occasions attempted to conquer earth and destroy the human race in their mad quest to exterminate all lesser beings in the universe but were each time defeated. Now, the Daleks have made a new proclamation, pledging to never again bother the earth or its inferior inhabitants.
Has their old enemy– the defender of Earth, The Oncoming Storm– The Doctor finally routed them for good? Not quite.
“Humans are weak and squishy,” shouted Dalek Sec, speaking on behalf of their empire. “Their divisive nature makes them a Prime target for conquest. In the midst of their pitiful election, we had planned to use their arbitrary and self imposed divisions to see further discontent and make the extermination easier. How could they unite against a superior enemy while they are fighting one another?”
But their plan could not have anticipated one vital thing: Donald Trump.


Mr. Trump at a recent rally.

“He is not inferior,” Sec said loudly. “He is Dalek.”
Daleks, as everyone learns in seventh grade biology, were once the Kaled race on their planet Skaro. After a war with the Thals left them mutated and deformed, Kaled scientist Davros accelerated their evolution and created a race of beings which feel only hate: the Daleks. Within their armored chariots, the Daleks are known primarily for their tendencies to shout loudly when speaking and their hatred of all things not them.


A Kaled mutant, or Trump without his hairpiece, I'm not sure which.

“The Daleks revere this Trump human,” Sec screamed.  “He is the highest evolution of Dalek, and we aspire to be him. We return now to Skaro to await his imminent return as subsequent reign. We leave Earth to be crushed under his mighty transport module.”
Whether the Doctor will appear to save us from Trump remains to be seen, but the Doctor always seems more concerned with the UK to be bothered with the US, so I wouldn’t hold my breath.


Let's make the universe great again!


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