New York, New York, New York — Savior of the human race and beautiful pasty Adonis Donald Trump once again defended the First Amendment of the Articles of the Confederation by growling “Happy Wookiee Life Day”in its original Wookiese to a crowd of supporters who would have never been offended by it in the first place.
“Liberals don’t even want to acknowledge that the Star Wars Holiday Special even exists,” he told the rippling throngs of exceptionally high BMIs. “To that all I have to say is ‘REEEAAARGH! GRARGLE! GLLLUUUURRRG!’– Excuse me, I mean, ‘Happy Wookiee Life Day!'”
The crowd celebrated by joyously discharging their handguns into the ceiling of the event center, injuring 12, as is their right as Americans.
Here is the video courtesy of YouTube: