Graphic Dudity talks Suicide Squad

The much anticipated Suicide Squad film dropped this past weekend.  It both bombed with critics and broke box office records, so which side will we take?  We also continue our segments on Pokemon GO, Top 5s and new segments Speed Round and Read List.

 

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Feature Films Ranked

Being born in the same great year as our heroes in a half-shell, I have been feeling the turtle power for as far back as I can remember.  TMNT figures ruled my toy chest, the original cartoon series ruled the TV every Saturday morning and I had several trips to see Secret of the Ooze in theaters, even though trips to the movies were rare for me as I child.

But not everyone’s life has been as great as mine.  Some of you might be new to TMNT fandom, so here they are, my ranking of all the TMNT movies to date.  Which, bee tee dubs, is the correct ranking.

#6  Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)

There is very little to like about the first installment of the latest run of TMNT films.  I can appreciate that they tried to go a new way, but my laundry list of complains of why I don’t like this film is seriously a mile long.   The only reason you should watch this movie is to get an understanding of what’s to come in Out of the Shadows.  There is very little to like here.

#5  Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III

Also a pretty lousy TMNT film.  Very disliked by fans and critics alike.  I only rank it slightly above TMNT 2014 because they at least tried to keep it tied to Japan and the turtles mythos.  It also featured the return of Casey Jones.  Plus, the time travel story reminds me of the best video game of all time, Turtles in Time!

#4  The Secret of the Ooze

This was my favorite as a kid.  Lots of laugh, a little brighter than the first film and, of course. Ninja Rap.  Looking back on it now it’s obvious it was rushed and is unintentionally a Gremlins 2: The New Batch, which was purposefully a parody of itself.  It’s still a lot fun though, and thankfully saw the departure of Corey Feldman as Donatello.

#3  Out of the Shadows

The latest film about our lean mean green incredible team just came out today and it was a major step in the right direction from the last Nickelodeon film.  It was a pretty major toss up for me to choose this one for #2 or #3 and what it really came down to is that while being vastly superior to the 2014 film, Out of the Shadows still suffers from a lot of the same pitfalls.  Ugly, bulky turtle design, Megan Fox as April, Tony Shalhoub as Splinter, overblown & unrealistic action scenes, among other things.  OOTS did jump a lot of the hurdles the first film tripped over, but still couldn’t finish the race.

#2  TMNT

 

What’s nice about 2007’s TMNT is that we are entering an established world.  We know who these guys are, we know their story and most of the supporting cast.  So let’s move on to the story.  And a fresh story we haven’t seen before.  A lot of the bad reviews criticized the story and plot as muddled and underdeveloped but I disagree.  I felt it was a breath of fresh air.  And the action and direction were fantastic.  Not overblown, just right.  It brought us so many cool things like Leo in the jungle, Leo fighting Raph as the Nightwatcher (you gotta see who wins), and a film where Karai actually does something!  The supporting cast is filled out by fantastic voice actors while the principal cast of the turtles falls very flat.  And that’s really about my own gripe.  As far as the turtles being animated, this is where they looked their best.  Not too cartoony, but not… grotesque.

#1  Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

As an adult I furthered my fandom beyond the series, the toys and movies into the comics, where it all began.  And that’s why I rate the first film as the best.  It is truest to it’s comic origins, with the story lifted almost straight from some of the earliest issues.  It’s dark and mysterious, while still being humorous.  We get our first look into the world of these fascinating characters (and the origin makes sense!)  We  get the best portrayal and appearance of Casey Jones.  It is the gold standard all the films have been striving for since it was released.   And with as far as CGI has come, the turtle suits still almost look more believable to me.  Plus, Sam Rockwell.

Also, while these are not feature films, I highly recommend watching the animated TV film Turtles Forever and the documentary Turtle Power.  These would have probably ranked after Ooze and before TMNT, perspectively, had they been feature films.

Do you agree with my list?  Disagree?  I don’t care.  Go fight on on reddit if you want be a jerk about someone’s personal opinions.

 

Improved Names For Christmas Dinner

As you sit down at the table to enjoy a meal with your family this Christmas, assuming you have a family, food, and/or a table, and assuming you celebrate Christmas, remember these improved names of your favorite dishes.
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New Peep Flavors for Christmas 2015

Every holiday brings holiday-specific treats.  Peeps are no different, and every holiday I look forward to what new flavors are available.  But before we get to what’s new this year, let’s recap some flavors from the last couple years.

Hot Cocoa & Cream

Chocolate ‘mallow in a white fudge.  So amazing.  Must have.

Candy Cane

I don’t like candy canes so I’ve never tried them, you’ll have to tell me.

Chocolate Mousse

Ah, the classic chocolate mousse.  Chocolate marshmallow in the shape of a reindeer.  So good.

Sugar Cookie

Let’s face it, as a cookie, sugar cookies pretty much suck.  As comedian Gary Gulman once stated  ‘A cookie without sugar is a cracker.’  So true.  You have failed us, sugar cookie.  But sugar cookie peeps?  Somehow delicious.  Sugar cookie flavored ‘mallow dipped in chocolate.  Thank you.  Probably my new favorite. (sorry, chocolate mousse)

NEW FOR 2015

Sugar Plum

Great idea, poorly executed.  These taste like… a fancy candle.  I ate one and the rest will never see action.

Gingerbread

I’ll be honest, I’m not huge on gingerbread.  Real gingerbread?  No thanks.  Even Gingerbread Twix, while a fun novelty, almost ruin the awesomeness of Twix.  But these Gingerbread Peeps?  Actually really good.  And shaping them like gingerbread men?  That’s why we love you, Peeps.

Any we missed?  Let us know!

 

Fictional Christmas Gifts We Wish Were Real

Christmas is a lot of things; family time, food, merriment, decor, and most famously, gift giving.  I, personally, get a bigger kick out of gift giving than gift receiving.  But maybe that’s just because these gifts aren’t real yet!

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Columbus Day Alternatives

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What a pleasant looking dude.

Since it’s apparently still Columbus Day, despite growing pressure from Native American groups and their allies to change this pointless holiday honoring one of many Europeans who helped destroy their culture and decimate, enslave, and otherwise oppress their population in order to gain money and power.  So rather than go through the laundry list of crimes Columbus committed against indigenous American people and humanity in general (since it has really stopped being a mystery), we’ll just make a list of different people the federal government could honor with a mattress sale.

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Weird Places Spiders Love To Hide!

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Spiders are, for many people, a furry, 8-legged nightmare.  Just in the past month, a mother endangered her 9-year-old by jumping out of a moving vehicle after seeing a spider and a man set a gas station ablaze trying to burn a spider he spotted on his car while pumping gas.  What else can cause such irrational behavior?  Meth, of course. Continue reading

Everything Taco For Taco Day

Tacos… ah, tacos.  Just saying it makes me hungry and happy all at the same time.  Is there anything better than a taco?  You’re thinking about it now aren’t you?  And you’re having trouble, huh?  Everyone loves a good taco, you’d be hard-pressed to find someone who does not.  And because of our love of tacos, October 4th has been named National Taco Day.  So let’s go through a little run down about everything taco.

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Songs About Coffee for Coffee Day

Thanks to Facebook I have learned that today is National Coffee Day.  I personally find coffee abhorrent.  It’s bitter and all around awful, even mounds of sugar and gallons of cream can barely mask it’s downright nasty taste.  HOWEVER!  I also understand it’s importance to millions of people worldwide.  And since I like to try to think of the big picture, I do what I can to be helpful and supportive (while still getting my jabs in).  So since there are no ‘coffee carols’ (yet) here are some songs about coffee for you to enjoy on this day, National Coffee Day.

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5 Life Changing Band Documentaries

There are a couple things I love most about life; travel, movies, and cinema.  Luckily for me one often leads to another.  Performing music has taken me to places I would never have had the opportunity to visit otherwise.  And my love of movies has introduced me to some music I may never have gotten into.  Here are my top 5 Life Changing Band Documentaries.

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